Recently I attended what's called a Munch in the area where I live. The room was packed with a very wide assortment of people in, let's say, kinky lifestyles. Most of them in the room were into what I classify as BDMSers. There was an open discussion that invited everyone to suggest ways to excite their partner with a quick scenario.
It was clear that everyone offering ideas were into BDSM so relating to their ideas was to say, odd for me. I'm simply a spanker who lives a D/s relationship. In doing that I also produce spanking videos. But, it seems that most people in this area are into spanking and beyond. So much so that I, and others with me, seemed Vanilla in our lifestyle.
Putting a naughty bottom across my lap and spanking her until she's learned her lesson is what I'm into. Putting a submissive in ropes and hanging her from the ceiling isn't my idea of fun. Neither is sticking her with pins and the other 1000 ways to inflict pain.
The Vanilla world would say I'm a sadist and strange in the way I believe. But, after meeting people who are into things that I could never imagine doing I find I'm far more tame in my lifestyle than the Vanilla world can imagine.